This is a blog for PhDs who, in their focus on scientific research, have lost their work/life balance.
Some people may think PhDs are too narrowly focused and think differently than others, and are especially without people and communication skills. This may be true for a lot of PhDs, but not everybody is the same. PhDs need love like anyone else. I will disclose my own love stories to help you understand.
I had several love affairs in different countries. From that point of view, I am not a traditional Chinese girl anymore and may not be able to find a Chinese husband again. When I grew up, I was told that women should only have one love and one marriage. Although it happened not by my choice, I appreciate the fact that I’ve learned a lot from all the people who have been involved in my life. Some saved me, some I saved. They will always have a corner in my heart with my respect.
What has surprised me a lot are cultural differences and how we misunderstand each other, especially with Americans!! American people actually are very conservative in terms of love, not like Hollywood movies, nor “Sex and the City” at all! I remember how people misunderstood ME even after I had been in the U.S. for a while.
One time, I went to visit one of my friends in Tokyo after eight years of being in the U.S. He was already the father of three kids. We were planning to meet at a train station. I had no problem in recognizing him, and we went to his house and had dinner with his family, very happily. Later, he told me when he was standing at the train station, he was worried how Americanized I would be, and if I give him a public hug, what was he going to do…. But, I just gave him a Japanese bowl like I never left Japan. He felt safe…
In the U.S., I had several significant relationships with American baby boomers. Many people say: “why you are interested in baby boomers, because they are older and rich?” My short answer is: “They impressed me a lot because they love their country the most.” Sounds political. By the way, I am only one year younger than the end of the “baby boomer” generation.
My observation of Baby Boomers is that they may have dirty mouths, but they don’t have dirty hearts. They work hard and like to enjoy life. They grew up with TV and experienced a big event: the Vietnam War. With the strong influence of President John Kennedy and Dr. Martin L. King, they are idealistic and want a better world.
Most of them like debate, like to challenge others, like to ask questions, like to speak out. They like variety and stimulation in work, like to be involved in decision making, and need a lot of listening. In American history, they created the wealth of America, made America famous as the “Heaven of children; Battlefield of youth.” Now, with most of them are in their 50s and 60s, I hope they can make old age and the American health care system better for future generations.
Finally, I want American people to understand me too, because I do not understand the English words: “Dear John” and “John, dear” have totally different meanings